Friendship in the 21st Century
A handwritten letter, once a simple formality and apart of everyday life. A way to assure mama of your safe arrival or to get in touch with a missed friend who had moved to Moscow, can now, touch the heart in ways many seem to forget.
Why do so many us, including myself, struggle at maintaining relationships even though our ability to communicate, keep in touch, and support our loved ones from the depths of the Amazon or the heights of Himalayas has become easier by the day? We take the time to announce our lives to all the randoms that scroll through FB walls, Instagram feeds and Snapchat stories, but why not take a moment to chat with someone who is and has been there for you when you were down and out. Someone who may actually need to bend your ear for peace sake.
We could, but we don’t. Why not? Don’t you notice more friends drifting farther and farther each passing year? Or times when you see someone come across your newsfeed and think, hey, I should message that guy, miss vibes, but than one of those ‘Awesome People’ videos pop up, you’re mesmerized and put it of till mañana ? I know I have way more friends on Facebook than will come to my birthday party.
Telling yourself or anyone else that you simply don’t have the time is a bullshit excuse and is offensive to everyone involved. A 10 second text or couple minute email once in a while to tell someone your thinking of them and look forward to catching up, can make a world of difference and often lead to hour long phone conversations as you both stare at the same moon from practically different worlds.
It is interesting how one adopts different strategies with different friends. While some I will tag in random posts about hilariously cute dogs, others I will send rowdy mixes of drum n bass that I know will throw them into a full office chair rave session. Joonatan and I have some how drifted into a snapchat system that is always great for a laugh and a peak into the persons world. Just got to find your rhythm.
Most intriguing and warm are those special souls who take a moment, throw on a jam, put their feet up in the sun and crack out the ole quill. There’s just something tender about receiving a handwritten letter from a dear friend, knowing they took the time out of their ‘busy’ lives to show you some love and that they hadn’t forgotten. It all allows a more intimate experience as one can analyze the quarks of the others handwriting, cursive or printing, fancy loops that form an elegant flow or messy chicken scratch that has you turning the page with a raised brow. In barely anytime at all writing a simple letter went from a necessity of life to a gesture of genuine friendship, support and consideration.
Sometimes, in anticipation of sending off a letter, I keep my eye out for music posters from around town of artists I know they’ll enjoy, stickers and random little bits and bobs to fill the envelope with and share a little of my life. It’s always worth the effort.
All this being said,
I challenge you!
Take ten minutes today, scroll through your phone or Facebook account and message 10 different people that you’ve been missing or meaning to catch-up with. I promise, in return you will get some lovely messages from appreciative friends. Who knows, it may even spark something new that brings you closer together and opens a whole new chapter!